Everyone loves to put a filter on a picture to change the look of the original photo. It provides an enhancement. Well, just as you may think that a photo needs an enhancement, so does your mouth! Yes, I said it… Our mouths need filters. Photos aren’t the only thing needing a filter, the words we speak need a filter too.
I had a little discussion with someone who had hurt my feelings. In this discussion, because I was speaking out of my hurt, I gave my raw emotions without putting a filter on it. Now I didn’t cuss this person out; I just gave my point of view on things.
This was all over text (first mistake), and I was writing out everything I was feeling from start to finish because I was trying to justify my place of hurt. I was writing a four-page letter through text. After I got out everything, I needed to say, no response back. A week had gone by and still no response.
So, fast forward, one day I’m in prayer, and I start thinking about this situation. In my mind, I’m thinking this person hasn’t responded, how rude of them, and just like that God said “why are they rude? What about you?” And, immediately I told God, “but, I didn’t hurt them, they hurt me, how am I being rude?” He said “you are only thinking about yourself,” I said “But, I was trying to justify myself” and God said, “everything doesn’t need to be justified.”
Immediately, I felt so convicted. Although this person had hurt me, I didn’t have the right to give them my raw emotion; it wasn’t fair, and I was being selfish. Yes, I had a right to my reaction, but the way I delivered it wasn’t the right way.
I call this person to apologize, and they accepted the apology and understood where I was coming from. Not every situation is going to end like this. I tell this story to say, our mouths need a filter. Mean what you say, say what you mean, but don’t be mean about it.
There’s a time and a place for everything. Now I should’ve slept on it and waited to give my response to the hurt. But… Instead, I jumped right out from my hurt. If we aren’t careful, we can really damage a friendship/relationship by our actions and our words.
During one of my intercessory classes, my teacher said: “even when they are wrong, do right!” Yes, this person hurt me. Yes, this person was in the wrong. Now that I think of it, this person didn’t even ask for an apology! But… In order to be in right standing with God and myself, I owned up to my actions and asked for forgiveness anyway.
I know this is hard for many, but we must always remember to do right even when wrong is being presented to us because God is always watching!
Four things you need to always remember:
1. Put a filter on it. Remember, mean what you say, say what you mean, but don’t be mean about it.
2. Everything does NOT need to be justified. Sometimes we just have to move on and let it go.
3. Stop being selfish. Just as your feelings were hurt, you could have hurt their feelings too. Hurt can be a two-way street just as much as love is a two-way street in any friendship/relationship.
4. Apologize! Even if they don’t accept it and even if they don’t give you one… Do it! Free yourself from guilt and pain.
If we can remember these steps, we will save ourselves from hurt. The more we put these actions into rotation, the easier it will be to become a habit. Remember, filters are to enhance! Start to enhance your life in a positive way. Get rid of old habits to make room for better and more positive ones.