I’m desperate for you!

Let’s play name that song.  A portion of the lyrics: “With arms stretched wide, I know you hear my cry, Speak to me now, I surrender.”  Hint: The name of the song is in the lyrics 😉 Well, if you guessed “I surrender” by Hillsong youuuuu arrrrre corrrrrrect!

I started to write this blog a few months ago when I was literally on my knees crying out to the Lord to change my current circumstance. I was dealing with a lot of heartbreak and every time I thought I caught a glimpse of sunlight, the thunderstorms hit again. It seemed like every week I was at the altar during worship crying out to the Lord in desperation.  This song was literally my heart’s cry!
Fast forward to a week ago, I wasn’t focusing on what I had overcome; I was focusing on my new venture -> blogging!  I was listening to worship music when this song started to play and it instantly brought me into worship.  Ever since then the word “SURRENDER” hasn’t left my spirit and I started to meditate on the word. 
It’s so easy for us to say that we truly surrender ourselves to God and to His will for our lives, but do we really?!  Do our actions meet up with the words we speak? We can sing “I surrender all” all day and night, but does our heart surrender too?!
Surrendering all isn’t just lyrics you sing on a Sunday morning at church.  It means that you give up your will completely to God.  This includes your fleshly desires too! Trust me, it isn’t easy and sometimes it is very difficult especially if we have been conditioned to a certain lifestyle for so long.  We can’t be going to the club, out doing drugs, drinking every night, fornicating and expect God to swing open the doors of blessing in our lives.  Please hear me out I am not trying to convict you, because my convictions may not be your convictions and we still serve a God of grace and mercy. What I am trying to do is give you a new perspective on “SURRENDER.”
Some of us try and give God only a portion of our surrender.  I know I have plenty of times.  I wanted to serve God and try to walk out the calling on my life, but yet still live in sin.  I was shacking up with a man, going out drinking; putting more time into a man then I was putting into God and yet still believing God to swing open the gates of Heaven and pour out His blessings on ME!
We put so much effort into the things we want the most.  But, why don’t we put this much effort into our relationship with God?  Why can’t we pursue him like we pursue the girl/guy we want to date?  Why do we expect God to bless our lives, but we can’t surrender our fleshly ways to him?
Surrender is an act; it’s something that we have to consciously do.  I had to make the decision to surrender my “WHOLE” being to what God had called me to do. That meant me giving up the things my flesh wanted to do. I had to give up friends, boys, going out, watching T.V., listening to certain music, so that I could “FULLY” surrender myself to God and walk out the call of God on my life.  I had to surrender it all first before the blessings started to pour down on ME!
There were many of nights that I cried myself to bed, I laid on my floor weeping and praying out to the Lord to take these flesh desires from me. I would get oil and anoint all the doors and windows, I would lay hands on myself, recite scriptures over and over again.  I did all of this because I had to get rid of my flesh and pour the things of God into myself.  IT’S NOT EASY to give up the thing you want most  for the thing that God has called you to do. You have to ask yourself is whatever flesh desire worth giving up the calling on your life?!  For me, it wasn’t!
I want to walk out what I preach. Now, I’m still human, who will still make mistakes, and mess up; A LOT, but I want my conviction level to be so strong that I’m still sensitive to the things of God. To me, this is true surrender.  It’s giving up the thing you want most, for the thing that God wants most for your life.
The breaking process can be hurtful and very painful, but sometimes we have to humble ourselves and ask the Lord to fix us at all costs. I didn’t care what people thought of me, or why I was always crying in church, or kneeling down during worship, because the only thing that mattered to me was more of JESUS.  I was trying to be obedient to the pull that was tugging on my heart. I needed God to rid me of the things that were not of Him, so that He could fill me with the things of Him.
Look at the story of Job; he surrendered his life to God. He lost it all including his family, but the one thing he didn’t lose was his faith in God. He surrendered his life at all costs, but his pursuit after God gave him a double portion of blessings. His struggles were repaid with double!
I write this to not beat you down about what you are currently struggling with, but I write this to help you and encourage you that God’s calling on your life is more important than that thing you want to hold on to.  God has so much more in store for you, if you just trust him! 
God is not going to give you a million dollars when you can’t be faithful over $100.  We have to give God what we expect God to give us in return. We pray and cry out to God to bless us, but when he says turn the T.V. off, or stop drinking, or put those pills down, we say just one more hour, or one more drink, or one more bottle. 
True surrender will bring the blessings of God into our lives. If you want all that God has to offer, give God everything He asks of you.  If He tells you to get rid of that boy/girl/drug/drink, because they make you fall into sin; do it! Because God’s best is awaiting you.
We have to have a sensitive heart and a sensitive spirit to the things of God. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the things that you need to get rid of. Sometimes we’re too scared to ask, because we’re too afraid of having to let go.
When you give up the thing that God has asked you to surrender that’s when God will swing open the door of blessings on your life. Nothing worth having comes without paying a price. God’s blessings are far greater than the one thing your flesh wants to hold on to. Remember God’s best for your life is awaiting your “TRUE SURRENDER.”


6 thoughts on “I’m desperate for you!”

  1. yes.
    we are to afraid to ask God for the things to let go because of the fleshy pleasure we derive from it.
    I pray God gives us the power to always choose hi first above all things.

  2. We must always keep our focus on Him, because when it gets hard the only thing to do is pray.

  3. The Lord has been speaking this very thing to me as well. Thanks for the post.

  4. This is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you, I heard you out and I was definitely convicted.

    1. Monique, that means that God is speaking to you! 🙂 No easy, but worth it!

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