Everyone at some point or another has experienced a time where they were tired of being sick and tired and wanting a change. This week I’m going to be talking about a time where I was sick and tired, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make a change.
For a little over two years, I’ve been taking sleeping pills to put myself to bed. Without these pills, my mind wouldn’t shut off. I became very delirious and needed to find something to put me to sleep. I didn’t have hardcore sleeping pills that a doctor prescribed me; they were over the counter sleeping pills. I started off with one 25mg, and after two years, I was at 100mg to keep me asleep. I got dependent on them because if I didn’t take them, my mind wouldn’t shut off.
Last month my church did a 30day fast, and during this time the Lord spoke to me very clearly. He told me He wanted to spend more time with me. I knew what this meant; this meant I needed to wake up earlier to pray. I told myself I would wake up at 5:00a to spend time with Jesus before I got my day started.
Well… Since the sleeping pills would knock me out, when 5 am came around, I didn’t want to wake up. I would hit the snooze button and go right back to bed. I was very unsuccessful with spending time with Jesus in the morning!
At our last Monday Night Madness church service, the Holy Spirit was so heavy in the room. I remember my pastor saying if you have issues sleeping at night; raise your hand so I can pray for you. I raised my hand, came in agreement with the prayer, and received that I would have the best night of sleep in a while.
At the end of the service, worship just hit everyone in the room, and everyone was on their face, crying out to God and worshipping Him. I can’t tell you how amazing this experience was. Needless to say, I was on my face bawling my eyes out to God. It was in that moment, that I knew I wanted to stop taking sleeping pills and I would do whatever it took to stop.
My reasoning to stop was because these sleeping pills were keeping me from spending time with God and I refused to allow something to keep me from my time with Jesus. I wanted to be available and ready when God woke me up to pray.
That night I went to sleep without the sleeping pills and slept through the night. The next night I didn’t take the pills, and I prayed over myself. I laid in my bed, put my hands on my head, and started to plead the blood of Jesus over my mind, my thoughts, and I started rebuking tormenting spirits and thoughts that would try to keep me awake.
I can say I have stayed off the sleeping pills ever since. I did some research and found a tea that helped my body calm down before bed. I still pray over myself every night, and it’s still a struggle some times to stay asleep, but it has been worth it.
I say it’s been worth it because I have been able to feel God’s touch when he wakes me up to pray. When I was on the sleeping pills, I would ignore His touches because I was too tired due to the medicine still in my body. Now don’t think I just hop out of bed and get straight to praying. It still takes me a few moments to get it together, but it’s so much easier to get up.
Last week I spoke about boundaries and having to make good choices for having a “healthy soul.” This week I share this experience with you because there are some things that you are going to have to overcome in order to continue with a healthy soul. Now you may not be struggling with sleep, but you may be struggling with other addictions, and things or people that are keeping you from getting closer to God.
Ask God what it is that you need to get rid of. Some of you already know what that thing is, some may not. Whatever it is, are you willing to pay the cost to overcome it?
I was willing to do whatever it took to overcome my struggle. Enough was enough for me. I was tired of depending on “something” instead of depending on God to help with my healing. Sometimes we forget to put our faith and trust in God so that He can deliver us from that “thing” that torments us. At the same time, we also have to do the work that it takes to overcome it.
God will walk this thing out with you, if you let Him. My pastor said, “what you don’t let go of, God will put out.” I would rather go through the steps of letting go (it’s not going to be easy) than having God put it out, because you never know what avenue God will take in doing so. Be encouraged; it’s possible to overcome!
Matthew 19:26 “And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” NASB